I hate myself..

why?

I hate myself.. cant do any decision for myself. I know my answer,but i cant do it. why? i keep asking myself.. what i afraid of? what i worry for? what should i do? then just can cheers myself up? feel very down these day.. maybe i should do something for myself. maybe i can run away from all these problem with myself. but if i really run away,how about u? im always hurting myself.. because of wanna hide all problem from malaysia then come here,althought life very hard here, i stil stay at here. bacause just dont want back to that place that too many sadness memories.. i just trying to forget it..just forget it.. try to find one new life here. BUT,WHY? stil same.. i cant run away from fact? i stil feel very down eveyday at here,althought very miss my families,feel very lonely,keep crying alone at night,but i just dont want go back.. whose really know what actually in my deep heart? why cant i just do eveything that i like to do? i feel my heart very empty.. i turn crazy soon again.. i just dont wan hurt myself again like used.. just dont wan..