Cant sleep again.. sigh..

I wish being love again.. Please dont break my heart again.....

I dont know what happened with me. I cant sleep.. Is so queit at night. I still didnt recover back. I'm sick for almost one week already. Am i that weak? lol.. I think was from i 16 or 17 years old untill now,i always cant sleep at night. I will keep thinking alot.. That's why my parent keep saying me is a emo girl. Keep lock myself up.

. I dont know why.. My tears drop out just now.... hey.. what am i doing again.. humph..

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I'm very miss my parent. My sisters.. My puppy.. my home.. food at hometown.. and all sweet time i spend together with my family.. Really very happy and relax. Nothing to worried nothing to thinking alot..

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I cried when i called my mom yesterday morning,i really miss her.. i really love her.. My mother asked me,how is my asthma le? I said ok lor.. sometime will attack only. "Why will attacked? You cry again? Why you cry? Not happy there? Your boy friend treat you not good? If really feel very hard there,come back home. Your father make a new house soon,he make a room for you too. If feel very hard,lonely or sad there.. come back. Mummy waiting for you come back. ok? If want come back now also can,go airport now and buy ticket straight back home."

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I really cried... Althought i'm really feel very hard here.. But i still choose to stay here. I dont know why,and i dont know is because whose? I stay here for who? I also dont know.. My friends? Him? You? lol... or just for myself...

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haiz.. I'm consider very long time already. I also never go find new job,because i am still confused with myself. Stay here? Go back hometown? I need to make a last decision for myself by this month.. My save cannot last very long also..

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Everynight nightmare woke myself up.... after that just seat there and stone for whole night. Who am i joking with? What i still thinking about? I try to look forward.. But really hard. My heart still bleeding.. my plaster doesnt use. ..

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I really hope that i can being in love again... Althought i'm hurt alot already,But i still wanna to try it again.. and again....